Pasta la Vista

 

Let's face it, most boring people find salads boring as fuck. It's my duty, my DUTY, to change all that.

 

So here is an Arnie type salad.  Really easy to make and the sort of salad you'll take to work . . . and your annoying colleagues will be looking over your shoulder saying things like "oooh, what's that?" and you can tell them to fuck off and then you can become one of the popular ones.

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This is one of those salads that doesn't need a recipe . . . crazy hey?? You've got basic ingredients and then add whatever you fancy.

 

I did this one a couple of days ago and Kate couldn't talk for 5 minutes she was so in awe . . . and to stop Kate talking for 5 minutes takes some doing, so I guess this was a pretty good version.

 

You need

1. 250g pasta twirls (I use the gluten free types - red lentil fusilli, or chick pea fusilli)

2. Two braeburn apples peeled and chopped

3. Packet of puy lentils (see picture)

4. Five hard boiled eggs

5. 3 sticks celery chopped

6. Tin of sweetcorn

7. One red chilli

8. Few pieces of broccoli (obvs)

9. Curry powder

10. Cheese (chopped feta or cheddar)

11. Chilli infused olive oil

12. Mayo and salad cream

13. Peas

14. Avocado

15. . . . . massive break from common sense here. I do realise some people eat meat, so tuna (cat food) can be added here

16. Salt and black pepper

 

Do it
 

1. Get the pasta fusilli in the pot as per instructions. When cooked and drained, sprinkle a bit of the olive oil on the pasta and mix it up so that the pieces don't stick together while they cool.

2. Put the 5 eggs in cold water, bring to boil and simmer for about 10 mins, then put them in cold water.

3. In a big bowl, add the chopped apples, chopped celery, drained sweetcorn, packet of puy lentils, (cat food, if you're adding that),.

4. Put frozen peas (as much as you fancy) into a glass bowl and pour boiling water to cover the peas. Leave for a minute. Drain and do it again with boiling water. Another minute of so, and then drain and add the peas to the other ingredients.

5. Add the chopped feta or cheddar cheese.

6. Peel the hard boiled eggs, chop them up and add.

7. Add the fusilli pasta and mix well.

8. Red chilli. Remove the seeds and chop finely. Heat a little olive oil in a frying pan and add the chilli over medium heat. When sizzling nicely add some curry powder - only a teaspoon or so. Let it cook for another minute or so and leave to cool, then add to the salad with all the juices from the pan.

9. Mix it all up, adding some salt and black pepper.

10. Now the mayo and salad cream. I like the salad to be moist  - like Arnie's armpit after a good workout. So I tend to add quite a lot and also a fair amount of the chilli infused olive oil. The thing to do is add . . . taste . . . add . . . taste etc until you like it.

11. You can add whatever you fancy - some chopped up gherkins, olives, prunes, dried apricot, tomatoes, chick peas, chopped up iceberg lettuce,  sundried tomatoes . . .  roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds  . . . 

So it took you a while . . . but that's going to feed you for ages . . . and  jeez!

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Tasty, Delicious and Nutritous