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You know that over-used expression "good things come to those that wait"? What a load of bollocks that is.

 

Despite what many people think, there are quick veggie meals that are so tasty you'll be shagging in the aisles, and some, I agree, that require a bit of steady prodding and poking.

 

In general, veggie cooking tends to take longer than meaty shit because meat usually comes in a piece of plastic and you chuck it on a BBQ, or shove it in the oven. Whereas with veggie stuff, you have to fondle the ingredients while you prepare it.

Dr Broccoli vegetarian recipes

Robbie's Nosh

Simple, delicate and slimming ... yeah ... as you eat it the weight just drops off ... and it tastes amazing. It's mainly bulgar wheat (don't pull a face FFS), carrots, potato, courgette, garlic and awesomeness. 

Dr Broccoli vegetarian pilaff

Piss Easy Pilaff

I love Pilaff because you can chuck anything in, it's quick to make, and always tastes like . . . you've just chucked anything in.

How long will it take?   Normal people 30 mins; students about 3 days.

How much does it cost?   2p (because you've nicked half the stuff)

Dr Broccoli vegetarian quiche

Crustless Quiche

Quiche without a crust ... surely not? That's just insane crazy ... like sex without porridge. 

Well, it is possible to do the impossible. Here is the proof.

Dr Broccoli vegetarian street food

Nibble your bits

If I could be serious for a moment ... if you don't have any friends and are a bit of a loner make this NOW. You will have people walking in off the streets who will find you irresistable ... may even want to nibble your bits. 

I can't believe they haven't used this recipe in talks between the Israelis and Palestinians ... the two leaders would be bumming each other before the end of the meal. Middle East problem solved. 

If you already have shitloads of friends, I'd go easy with this one ... cook it in the early hours of the morning and eat it immediately ... in fact, probably safer to get in the oven and eat it while it's cooking to be completely secure. 

Dr Broccoli lentil recipes

Lazy lentils

Terrific poo food . . . so cheap, so tasty, so delicious, so nutritious.

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